I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
