If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
