tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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