Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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