What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize