I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
