remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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