There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
