i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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