oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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