The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
