half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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