It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
