God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
