i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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