Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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