Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
