So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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