Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
