I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think I have vodka in my lungs
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
