tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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