Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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