i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
