I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
