i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
