If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
