we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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