Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
