Need sex. Gaining weight.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
