Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The chlamydia really affected his face.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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