i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
