Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
