Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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