She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
