I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
