very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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