Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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