Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
