Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
