Non-Jews are for practice
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
