i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
