Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
