If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
