We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
