Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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