She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
