if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
