Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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