No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
