so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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