I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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