At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
