Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize