Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
