i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Too much gin, very little bucket
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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