whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
