cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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