I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
