her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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