I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
