i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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