My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize